The Fish Bowl

Reading Oswald Chambers this morning. June 8, 2023.

In the book of John chapter 13 verse 17, Jesus had just washed the disciples feet and continued on to say that He had left them this example to follow, vs 16 says “truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17 If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them. Jesus was modelling a pattern or example of loving humility. However, as I was reading Oswald Chambers devotional this morning I realized he was saying that if you know these things and do not do them, it is disobedience. Sometimes we become so comfortable in our daily spiritual living we become disobedient to those things we know we are supposed to do causing us to become spiritually stodgy. When this happens we cease to keep learning to be spiritually discerning.

Spiritual discernment requires we live close to the Lord, listening to what He is calling us to do in obedience to His plan and purpose. As we go, if we are not walking closely with Him, then we become complacent and spiritually deaf and blind. Yes, we say, we are Christian, we are bought and paid for by our Savior and Lord. Is it enough? The Lord wants us to live a life of joy and fulfillment in Him but when we don’t we are not able to hear or see what He is up to in our lives, and as Oswald Chambers puts it,

When you know you should do a thing, and do it, immediately you know more. Revise where you have become ‘stodgy’ spiritually, and you will find it goes back to a point where there was something you knew you should do, but you did not do it because there seemed no immediate call to, and now you have no perception, no discernment; at a time of crisis you are spiritually distracted instead of spiritually self-possessed. It is a dangerous thing to refuse to go on knowing.
The counterfeit of obedience is a state of mind in which you work up occasions to sacrifice yourself; ardor is mistaken for discernment. It is easier to sacrifice yourself than to fulfil your spiritual destiny, which is stated in Romans 12:1–2 . It is a great deal better to fulfil the purpose of God in your life by discerning His will than to perform great acts of self-sacrifice. “To obey is better than sacrifice.” Beware of harking back to what you were once when God wants you to be something you have never been. “If any man will do …, he shall know.…”

Chambers, O. (1986). My utmost for his highest: Selections for the year. Oswald Chambers Publications; Marshall Pickering.

Life rushes on like a river

Today I’ve been looking through old photos. Many emotions have been brought to the surface of my heart and mind. My life has gone by so fast it seems like the memories are unreal but they are my life. I am seeking to make sense of this in some way. How did it come and go so quickly? The bible tells me that I am but a vapor. James 4:14 “Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. These are true words from God! We live as if we have all the time in the world when we are not even promised tomorrow.

I suppose I am ruminating about such things because of my cancer diagnosis. I am facing the reality of my mortality. I am 69 years old and have lived a relatively full life. I’ve experienced the joy of marriage, children and grandchildren. I’ve worked along side my husband nearly 50 years in ministry and have shared the joys and sorrows of the life God called us to, together!

Sorrow and pain are not new to someone my age. I have grieved with those who have lost family and love one’s. I grieved with children who have grieved the death of relationships and life’s many sorrows. I grieved with those of our congregation for the many losses of their lives and those they love. I’ve grieved the loss of my own Father’s and shared in my mothers grief for her losses of parents and husbands.

Grief is God’s gracious gift to us to show compassion and love to one another. Jesus grieved, for Jerusalem, for Lazarus, in the garden He grieved because of sin and the suffering of the cross, he grieved for those around the cross before He died for you and me. We are called to be like Him.

Grieve as those who have hope. John 16:20 “Truly, truly, I say to you, that you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice; you will grieve, but your grief will be turned to joy”

Time is precious, savor the moments you have, make memories and when the time comes to face the mortality of your life, make sure that the life you live now will be a testimony to those around you to the Grace and Glory of Jesus Christ our Savior and Lord. Bring Honor to God daily so that you will have nothing to be ashamed of. Time is of the most importance now for me because now I am vulnerable to the idea that I will not live forever and I will not be spared the suffering of life, physically or emotionally. My prayer is that my life would reflect the grace and mercy of Jesus and others would be drawn to him. Give me courage Lord to not be afraid of the unknown, but to be BOLD in who I know, You dear Lord in your strength and power and peace!

3 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

2  a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
3  a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4  a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5  a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6  a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7  a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8  a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Ec 3:1–8). (2016). Crossway Bibles.

A Time for everything….

Time is a precious gift.

In this season of my life I find myself reflecting on time. Time when I first remembered my childhood in reality, you know, before you knew you even existed. Those were carefree days of playing in the sun and chasing puppies. Time when life was difficult because circumstances beyond your control as a child just happened because of no fault of your own. Time that soothed a heart full of anxiety and fear, time when young love was in bloom and your heart would soar from all the emotions. Time that brought courtship and marriage and the birth of children. Time when you heart would ache for the pains of others choices and the joys that come with each new addition to the family. Time when aging, experiencing the loss of loved ones and the grief that comes so hard. Time of illness and realization that God the Father is not limited in time. Time of reflecting on days that only God has planned for us. Times of hard questions of why?

Time is a gift, only God gives. We must not take for granted the time the Father has given us. One day it seems we have all the time in the world but then something shakes us and make the realization so vivid that we know we have wasted a precious gift we can never get back. Let’s remember that each day is a gift for our Father in Heaven. There is a season for everything, a time for joy and laughter, a time of pain and suffering and a time to live and a time to die! Praise God for the days you have! Bring Glory to Him by using the time He has given you to bless others. Share His love, Love your loved ones and remember Jesus suffered and died on a cruel cross so that we could life for ever with Him in eternity and never be bound by TIME again!

Quiet my soul, be still my heart,

What seems so desperate is but a part

of God’s great plan, of a change of heart–

to make you grow, of God to impart,

Silence for you, to rest apart, from the known,

to the art of knowing, rest, oh heart.

Psalm 131
     1 LORD, my heart is not proud;
      my eyes are not haughty.
    I don’t concern myself with matters too great
      or too awesome for me to grasp.
    2 Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself,
      like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother’s milk.
      Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me.

    3 O Israel, put your hope in the LORD—
      now and always.

written 6/6/2012

As a little girl I remember nights when I could not sleep because I was so fearful that something was under my bed just waiting to get me.  I still remember the heavy feeling in my chest.  I would cover up as much covers on top of me as I could so to feel safe.  Some nights I would fall asleep and wake up numerous times until I would just be so exhausted I could not stay awake any longer.  I suppose it all started when my mom married my step dad.  Prior to that I slept with my mother in her bed.  

My step dad just could not understand why someone would want to sleep with their light on and began to help me understand that if I left the light on that people from the outside could see into my room and I could not see them on the outside.  Well that did it, I finally agreed to turn out the lights and then began the journey of fear.  Although my fear probably did not begin there, it was manifested more greatly then because I was alone, in my room, in the dark.  

I gave all that background to say that I remember as a little girl praying this simple prayer “Now I lay me down to sleep; I pray the Lord my soul to keep, If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take”.  Sound kinda fatalistic, huh!  To die in my sleep before I wake.  I am sure my mother or my grandmother taught me this pray, I don’t remember who but that is beside the point.  

I am here to tell you this one thing, God loves children.  He does not wish that any should perish but that all may come to a saving knowledge of Him.  I did not really understand in my childhood what God was like or that He loved me, but I knew that if I prayed that prayer somehow I would eventually fall asleep.  Some nights I prayed it over and over again until I would calm down. Something so simplistic as this little prayer began my journey to know the loving God that would today be my strength.  He was pursuing me then and continues to love me now.  I know that God had a purpose for me even as a child.  He began to draw me to Himself and woo me into a love relationship with Him.  And today I must say Thank You to my Father in Heaven, who loves me and keeps me safe. 

 I love the verses in Proverbs 18:10 “The Name of the Lord is a strong tower, The righteous runs into it and is safe”. and  2 Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline”. These are just some of the ways the enemy can be defeated in our fear.  The scripture is powerful to breakdown barriers of fear and strongholds in our lives.  So even as a child, God is busy drawing us who belong to Him, who choose life and love.  Thank you Lord for loving me and drawing me from my childhood and meeting me in my times of greatest fear.

written 5/10/2012

Gracious Father above, I have seen the proof of Your Love.
Guide my mind and my heart to see your gracious heart.
Help me to recoil in disgust over a heart that lives to lust.
I want to be one to trust and not be reduced to the dust.
Your treasure is for me from above,
Out of the riches of Your love
I would boast of the strength I have in You
If only I knew how to be true
Teach me Your ways O Lord
I want to receive the reward
Of Your precious Son as my groom
To live forever not doomed
In the presence of Your glorious light
Remembering just how much it cost in the fight.
Sacrifice myself to your care
Laying my soul to bare
The scars of Your Holy One
On My Heart write Your Son.

written 2/3/2011